Night time. The best thing about night time is sleeping. During the day my mind moves at a million miles an hour, and it is exhausting. Sleeping is the only time that I can actually turn my brain off.
I hate graves because after an entire day of dealing with the endless barrage of matter which you could call my thoughts, just when I think I can't stand it anymore, I have to go to work all night. It's like living another full day. Except during this second, nobody's awake with me. Nobody to talk to, nobody to reassure me that I'm not as crazy as I think--or even to tell me that I'm crazy but it's ok.
This is the time of night when everything in my head takes a turn for the serious. The disappointments and frustrations I have with myself come out and shake their big, ugly heads at me. I end up thinking about a lot of things that I've been trying to put out of my mind.
Maybe it's not a bad thing. Maybe these ugly shapeless creatures need to be dealt with, and maybe it will be for the [eventual] better.
But that doesn't make this any more fun, does it.
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