Inside Me

(Taken from my book of essays, written June 16, 2011)
It seems like I've been trying to write ever since I picked up a pencil for the very first time. But I always feel like a fool. A foal trying to race with the thoroughbreds. I feel like my efforts are so inadequate compared to those of the others around me. It is very frustrating to me.
There is a girl inside of me, forever begging to be let out. She's a genius you know. She is always crying for me to let her out, so that she can express herself. But it seems that I've lost the key that would set her free. No matter how hard I look, I can't find it. I am simply incapable of letting her out. She gets so frustrated with me, and I with her. Sometimes I will catch glimpses of her artistic genius... a little sketch here, a paragraph there... but never more.
How I long for the day when we can work together as one. I long for the day I am truly free from the limitations which have been imposed upon me... which I have imposed upon myself.
Most of all, I long for the day when instead of her mournful wails, I hear a sigh of contentment, or even happy laughter. She and I will be able to express ourselves, our ideas, feelings, and it shall all be a most beauteous, heavenly, perfectly happy time.
No more frustration inside me.
\Only joy.

What is the Deal With Cakes?

(Taken from my book of essays, written June 16, 2011)
What is the deal with cakes? It seems to me that people are overly fascinated with them.
Cakes for weddings, cakes for birthdays. Cakes for parties and festivals, cakes for pets. Cakes for new mothers. Cakes for reunions, dances, going aways, and home comings. And then sometimes cakes for no reason at all.
Having a cake is not, in fact, a bad thing. Cakes are delightful. But everything should be used in moderation.
Meg thinks that "Chocolate cakes are the best!"
But I disagree. I prefer... Um... well it depends on the day. But one combination which I find quite delectable is a red velvet with cream cheese frosting and raspberry filling. Yum!
Cake can be very delicious. But not when you eat it excessively. It's just too much sweet, all in the one place. I prefer snacks to be more salty and savory. Doritos, corn nuts, cheap dollar store cheetos, bugles (especially the nacho cheese flavor), cheezits... I would take any of these over a slice of cake any day. Well almost any day. I, being a [teenage] girl will sometimes find myself with an undeniable craving for sweets. But... more often than not I find myself craving some chips or even a burger. I guess everyone's different...
Yes?

Nothing to Write About!

Taken from my essay book
(Written June 15, 2011)

After attempting [and failing] to find a subject to write about, I decided to write about nothing.
Writing about nothing is a pain for several reasons.
1) You have a lot of paper to fill and nothing to say.
2) It's kind of hard to write when you're actually writing about nothing.
3)I don't know anything about nothing.
4)I keep getting distracted by everything! Which makes this paper really inauthentic.
Sorry.
You have to be in a certain kind of mood to be able to write aboutnothing.
There has to be a  bit of brain dysfunction, because you have to really only be able to think of nothing in order to successfully write about nothing. Also, you have to be a bit of a smart alec. Because really, what kind of a student is going to write about nothing??
Not one who prefers to appear studious.
Of course, writing about nothing could in fact be proof of a brilliant mind. I mean... have you every successfully written about nothing?
Not many people have. You can try but... Unless you have a superior teacher or an insanely capable mind... you could end up with a disaster on your hands.

Isn't It Interesting

Taken from my essay book
(Written June 14, 2011)
It's interesting isn't it. How things can change.
Consider your life a year ago. Now consider today. So much is different, yet so much is the same.
It's interesting how praying for a miracle can change your life. It won't come right away, when you think you need it most. Not every time. Sometimes God likes to wait a while, to see how much you really want it. He knows how much you can take, how far you can push yourself. How far he can push you without breaking you. And sometimes it might be necessary for him to break you. But its only so you can build yourself up again, to be stronger, not because he doesn't love you.
Isn't it interesting how the instant things go wrong, we go straight to God. Either we're praying for things to get better or we're blaming it on him and getting angry. But when things go right, we forget about him. Well, not every times. Sometimes people remain loyal but... it's like the parable of the ten lepers. They all came to him with their problem, but only one stuck around afterwards. To show gratitude for the life changing miracle.
And to be honest, I sometimes find myself wondering if, even after such an altering experience, he ever found himself doubting or blaming God for his troubles. Or did he stay permanently steadfast from there on?
Isn't it interesting how you can have an idea about somebody... but then it turns out to be totally off track? You've never been more wrong in your life. You could think you know them after so many years, but then you have one conversation with them and realize you had it all wrong.
Isn't it interesting how you can hate somebody more than anything in your life, but if you just put your emotions aside for a few minutes and talk to them... And I mean REALLY talk to them... you'll usually find that they're not as bad as you thought. You may even enjoy being around them.
Isn't it funny how much somebodies words can affect you? It only takes one comment to destroy someones confidence. But it just takes one comment from the right person to make it better. People can tell when you're sincere, and it can make all the difference in the world when someone is suffering.
Isn't it interesting, how it seems like when life is going great your friends are by your side, promising you that they'll never leave. But just when everything is falling apart and you need them most, they are nowhere to be found. Don't make promises you don't intend to keep. You'll only end up causing somebody a world of pain. There's nothing worse than a fair weather friend.
Isn't it interesting how you think you don't care about someone. But when it comes right down to it, you really care so much that it hurts. If I could change one thing about myself, it would be how much I care about everything. It leaves me too open to disappointment for my own comfort.
Isn't it funny how somebody can have everything you ever wanted, and yet.... they don't appreciate it? They don't realize how much somebody else would give just to have what they do. All they can think about is how inadequate their life is.
Isn't it funny how hypocritical I was while I wrote this essay?

Rant on Pens

A little background information on this essay.
I had just bought a brand new notebook and several different pens of various brands. I was bored, so I decided to write my first essay. For fun, I decided to put it in the colors of pen that I used while I was writing it.
(Taken from my book of essays, written June 13, 2011)

So I was trying to think of how to fill my first page, and then it hit me. I decided to try out my new pens! A brilliant idea. In my mind anyway.
This one is made from recycled water bottles. I have two of these. You know, I really think that I like the smooth way the ink is flowing. It's so... liquid. I like it. I don't normally tend to like ballpoint pens but this one is superb.
This pen is from one of my favorite brands. Precise V5 Rolling Ball Pilot. They only sold them in black until just recently. Now they come in four colors. Black, blue, green, and of course, red. This ink comes out smoother than any other pen I use, except for the G2's. That is my other favorite brand. I also like Sharpie Pens a lot, but those don't last long if you forget to put the lid on tight. And I'm not very good at that. I'm always losing the caps. 
The thing I like most about this brand's colored pens is how vibrant the colors are. They're quite pleasant to look at.
I have now successfully tested each of the new pens I now possess. And i happen to be quite satisfied with my purchases. I am really going to enjoy using them...

Through My Eyes

Well... the purpose of this blog is to allow others to catch a glimpse of the world through my eyes. By reading my essays.
Each essay is written on a subject that interests me for one reason or another and may contain real information. For the most part, its just my opinions and how I see things.
I've always wanted to start a blog and... well I have tried starting several but they had no real purpose and so they failed. Hopefully this project will not end the same way.
Feel free to let me know what you think of my work.