Get Home.

I have decided to dissect a song by a fabulous band called Bastille. Perhaps you have heard of them. Perhaps you haven't.
Either way.
The guy who writes the music, he is a genius. I feel like I can relate to nearly every single one of his songs. His lyrics are full of emotion and meaning, which is wonderful because it doesn't seem like many artists try to incorporate deeper meaning to their songs--what you see is what you get. But every time I listen to these songs, I find a new facet to focus on, a new glimmer of meaning.
So, without further ado I present to you [my interpretation of] "Get Home."

How am I gonna get myself back home?
We are the last people standing at the end of the night.
We are the greatest pretenders in the cold morning light.
This is just another night, and we've had many of them.
To the morning we're cast out, but I know I'll land here again.

How am I gonna get myself back home?
There's a light in the bedroom, but it's dark.
Scattered around on the floor are my thoughts. 
This is just another night, and we've had many of them.
To the morning we're cast out, but I know I'll land here again.

How am I gonna get myself back home?

The birds are mocking me. They call to be heard.
The birds are mocking me. They curse my return.

How am I gonna get myself back home?
I'm lost.


I've come to the conclusion that this song depicts life as someone who suffers from depression.
We are the last people standing at the end of the night. When you're weighed down with so many things, it becomes impossible to sleep and you end up spending your whole night tossing and turning, with your thoughts seemingly "scattered around on the floor". Sometimes it can feel like this in a very literal sense. You spend the whole night thinking about everything.
We are the greatest pretenders. Some of the happiest seeming people I know are actually plagued by depression.
Another thing that stands out to me is the general feeling toward light and morning. Light is described as cold. Despite the fact that there's a light in the room, it's dark. Sometimes, no matter how much light there is, everything can be dark.  The whole world seems to have taken on a sort of hollow, greyscale appearance. And even the birds singing seems to be a mockery, taunting and cursing the return of someone who doesn't feel the cheer that seems to be present in every other aspect.
And despite the fact that this person seems to be in their home (according to the first verse) they still feel lost. Feeling like you don't belong no matter where you are, feeling lost, is one of the worst feelings and it has been captured completely throughout the lyrics of this song.

You should give it a listen.

The World Through My Eyes

A black abyss, a cold damp that penetrates you to the bone. No matter what you do, it won't go away. Scared of the dark, shivering people huddling together. Darkness runs rampant, as well as the people who are terrified of it.
And yet, the darkness serves as a shield for some. They hide behind it because they're afraid of the light. How did they come to this point?
From hiding in the dark.

Drafts

I have a lot of draft posts that I have written over the last three years that I haven't posted for one reason or another. Not that anyone reads this much, but I am going to be posting them one per week until they're all posted. Prepare yourself for a tidal wave of silliness, sadness, and simplicity. I mean, that's kind of the purpose of having this blog anyway isn't it?

Clearing the Air.

A post in which I might ramble a little bit and you may get bored reading.

We all have ghosts in our past, ghosts that haunt us day after day, taunting us with visions of how things might have been if only circumstances had been different, or people had been kinder, or someone had said more. Bringing back the pain of unspoken words, actions we never took, tears we never cried, and people we never loved.

Why do we let them torment us so?
Because confronting them means confronting our insecurities and deepest fears. And it is just so easy to huddle in a corner, afraid of them, wishing they would go away, hoping that if you ignore them long enough they might leave of their own volition, eventually becoming a numb shell that merely exists, wallowing in the sorrow and pain of tragedies that are partially your own creation.

Sometimes it might seem like they've left you, that they've moved on from their favorite past time; making misery and causing pain. But at the slightest hint of remembrance or regret they come flooding back even stronger than they were before.

The only way to really get rid of them is to clear the air. To open the windows and let the truth blow away all the confusion that has been haunting you.
And sometimes when the truth blows away all the lies and holograms that you've been projecting for years, you find yourself feeling empty. The space that once was filled with the terrors of the night now holds nothing but the honest facts and the emptiness may seem daunting, even painful for a while.

But after a time, you can fill the empty spaces with better things.
And you can learn to feel again.

Which can seem scary. As someone who generally tries to avoid emotions I understand just how terrifying this is. I'm still not sure that I'm ready to take off my rose tinted glasses and feel.

But tonight, I'm one step closer.